Very unhappy with my friends at the moment. making plans and breaking them, not replying or replying days later. it hard when a friend in Texas can reply to a message faster than someone ten minutes from your house.
i am filled with regrets right now, and every day that passes makes it harder to go back. i feel like a debbie downer everywhere i go, and i cant help it. ill be having a good time, but theres this gaping hole where my mind jumps and fills with you. i know if i text you, i will get ignored or shut down again, and i dont think i can handle that. you were right to go, but i just really want another chance. too bad that opportunity came and went.
thursday morning. just. it was fun. i loved laughing with you, and having a cuddle too. its nice to call you my friend, but i wish it would go either way. the way you act sometimes is too sentimental. youre giving me ideas i know i shouldnt have, but we were good. you and i had fun, we had balance, we had so much. most of that went, but i still think theres room for this to work. even though im sure i cant handle it hurting again.
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