I think once i start blogging again, i just cant stop. im back here again in the space of an hour. less, even. i just want to get all my mind out, clear and calm again, because i cant stop thinking. of the past, the future, and what could have been. i hate regretting things, and this is something im growing to regret.
i keep thinking of ways to say im sorry. ways that will explain me in a way better than i am. to convey my disappointment in myself, without being self pitying. i just want to start over.
i think if i had the chance to talk to him face to face, i could do it the right way. the emotions i have right now are too hard to convey in a message. on paper, electronically. i can message you, i can text you. but none of it seems right. if only it wasnt so hard to let go.
i just feel like im drowing in all the mess ive made for myself. i cant have the best of both worlds. all i have to do now is choose the one i want. and i think i know, but i get the feeling theres no second chances where youre involved. i dont even know what ive done wrong exactly. guess i just have to apologise for everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment